Barefoot Zen?

Barefoot Zen?
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Saturday, January 17, 2009

Eat This, Not That


I picked up a copy of "Eat This, Not That" from the library last week, and the supermarket edition of the book at Borders as well.

The premise of the book, published by Men's Health magazine, is to guide you toward what your best choices are at any given restaurant, from branded fast-food establishments to generic ethnic eateries, as well as helping you navigate through the supermarket aisles with an awareness of what to gravitate toward and avoid.

I've long been intrigued with the food industry - how it markets to us, what people believe is healthy, the success stories of people who have won out over disease and obesity. I'm the guy who owns a copy of "Supersize Me". It keeps me from veering off the rails on days when I am tempted to revert to my two childhood mantras: Food = Comfort and Food = Love.

I'm also eager to learn more about what food choices do to our kids. I watched over the holidays as the annual onslaught of baked goods, sugar-laden treats, and stockings full of candy began to pile up like reindeer poop at Santa's stables. For me, it meant an extra five pounds, for the kids, it meant mood swings, energy bursts, and occasional crashes and comas. I can make allowances for such a ride once a year, but one of my resolutions is to assure that what we all put in our bodies in 2009 enhances our energy and wellness rather than railroads it into a ditch littered with Ding Dongs and Dilly Bars.

So, thus far the books have been quite an education. There were obvious nutritional Napalms I was aware should be avoided. For example, if you go into KFC and order one of their KFC Famous Bowls, you really deserve the arterial shutdown you're about to experience. Not only does that meal scream 'danger', it's also the laziest fricking menu item I've ever seen. To quote Patton Oswald, it truly is a failure pile in a sadness bowl.

And, really, the pages for Hardees should read as such:
Eat This: blank page. Not That: The Hardee's Menu.

Outback Steakhouse? You know those long, sharp knives they give you to cut your steak with? You'd be healthier if you used said silverware to become a cutter than to eat even half a Bloomin' Onion (1155 calories, 67g of fat).

And those Chinese Restaurants in the Food Courts? It's a kamikaze mission, really. And you'll die with a sample toothpick in your heart, a spork in your hand, and a hint of glazed orange sauce on your chin.

But who knew that the Quarter Pounder from McDonald's was a better choice than, say, their chicken sandwich? Or that Chick-fil-A's wraps aren't one of the best options? My wake-up call was my very favorite eat-out meal. I order the Vegetarian Tacos from Chipotle all the time. It's black beans, shredded cheese, salsa, and lettuce in three soft shells. I have them hold the guac and sour cream. Still, they say most everything at Chipotle manages to leap over the 800 calorie zone. DANG!

As for the supermarket edition, it mainly points out the various foods that have managed to disguise spoonfuls of sugar into the mix and what the most processed foods are on the shelves.

So, what's the absolute worst packaged food in America? The dubious honor is awarded to Marie Callender's Creamy Parmesan Chicken Pot Pie, which boasts 1060 calories, 64 grams of fat, and is the equivalent, in fat content, of 23 strips of bacon.

Next, a friend is letting me borrow the Eat This, Not That edition for kids. I look forward to becoming uber-angry at the food industry when I read about the nuances of the messages they send our children.

Now, I do take all of these books with a grain of salt. Ya gotta allow yourself a guilty pleasure now and then, and one man's Varsity hot dog is another man's steamed broccoli. I get it. All things in moderation, and common sense often beats statistics. But, good to have the information at my fingertips. At the very least, I'll start making my own vegetarian tacos, and I'll know that if Marie Callender ever wants to schedule a meeting with me, it's likely because she plans to kill me.

Bitch.

3 comments:

  1. Yeah, I eat a lot of bean burritos, thanks to Willies......and I know they are hovering around the 1,000 calorie mark, but all burritos do. Tortillas are not nearly as low in calories as their flat shap and taste would lead one to believe.....and then there's the 4 pounds of beans and cheese and (in my case) guac and sour cream. Mmm....I just had dinner and I'm getting a little peckish. Ah, food, so fun to eat, so fun to read about. I love feeling virtuous about eating tuna wraps, made with lettuce, and then eating a bunch of chocolate. That's what I do. Very curious how the 2009 Houseworth Eating Plan works! Keep me apprised.

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  2. I will keep you apprised...if you'll tell me who you are, oh mysterious Medlockian. :-)

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  3. I am fascinated by these books and it seems the 'eating out' one might not be a bad thing to own since from time to time it makes sense. AND i would not have thought a quarter pounder better...

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